BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU WISH FOR

 Hello readers. I have some news for you.

I just went to the future and discovered that Richard (of Richard's Bass Bag), my old employer, has actually written a new post after a long absence.

I know that you've been missing his posting but I need to warn you that like the Jack Reacher books now written by Andrew Child, not Lee Child, Richard's new post is like 'No Plan B' - it should have 'stayed in the box'.

Sorry about the spoiler alert.

A MESSAGE FOR ROBERT

Hi guys, but mainly Robert. I've just been to the future in 2141 and am sorry to report that God is dead.

 

MASSIVE TRAFFIC DISRUPTION IN ITALY IN SEPTEMBER 2018

Hi guys. I've just flitted into Italy in September and I know that you'll find this interesting:

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September 2018
BREAKING NEWS

Reports are coming in of the largest traffic jam that Italy has ever experienced blocking the main route south-east from Milan on the road to Bari.

"I-a donta knowa what-a the probleema eesa" said traffic officer Guietta Movonna when interviwed "but-a theea roada she isa blocked alla the waya backa to Milano. Oh Momma mia"

This reporter's company provided a helicopter which has taken us to Foggia where a vehicle has finally been made to stop after causing a tailback of over 300 kilometres. It appears that this vehicle containing tourists from New Zealand travelled all the way from Milan airport at 40kph causing massive disruption in its wake.

The driver identified as a Mr Riccardo Prowess was reported to have said to the arresting officers:

"Sup Bro? Me and the missus are off to stay in Bari for a decade or two. I hope you're going to ticket those aggressive bastards behind me who've been trying to pass illegally. We're not used to this speeding about where I come from"

Commendatore Ivor Gottagun of the special traffic police flying squad said:

Ima gonno shoota thatta bastada. He'sa made-a me late-a for my pasta formigione thatta my-a mistress has-a made-a for me. Now-a I'll have to eata my wif-a's cooking. Bastardo"

The Minister of Internal Affairs (unrelated to Commendatore Gottagun's domestic situation) has reported that the disruption has caused major set-backs in industry and commerce and that the government will be reviewing the situation in special meetings that have been called.

OH BOTHER WHERE ART THOU?

Ha ha, I'll have to look at changing my time dilation travel agents after a bit of a cock-up.

I was planning to go back to see an old favourite band of mine - The Rouse Brothers.

That's me driving that truck in the background. I was late for the photo shoot that day.

I like their version of 'Orange Blossom Special' and have done so ever since a great wine tasting trip I had a while ago (more about that in another post in the future ..... or the past).

THE ROUSE BROTHERS

Somehow something went wrong - maybe it was due to those lightning strikes we've been having - and I ended up in Petone seeing these guys in concert:

I was going to keep in the shadows so that my old boss Richard couldn't see me just in case he was miffed at me jumping ship but remembered that this was before that happened so he was OK. I gave him some advice on which strings to put on his bass and suggested to Robert to 'lose the mo Bro'

The concert was pretty good but unfortunately they didn't play 'Orange Blossom Special' as I know that Richard will play this pretty well at some time.

BEGORRAH, OCH AYE THE NOO BOYO!

I've just been back to 1985 in Scotland. Edinburgh to be precise.

Feeling a bit peckish and not having any Scottish Pounds on me I decided to gate-crash a wedding to get some free eats. I got there a bit early and who did I encounter getting dressed for the occasion?

Yes, you guessed it, it was the Boss - TC.

Nice skirt TC. Ha ha ha ha.

ONE YWO THREE ...RED LIGHT....

1-2-3 RED LIGHT


.....Ha ha ha. Those Fruitgum guys did a good song or two. The Prowse Brothers or PBs could pick up some ideas here - snazzy suits, clever lyrics, music and, a place for Robert playing two of those whatchamacallits - the circular things that kind of rattle and jingle.

So, why red light you may ask? (Actually I peeked into the future and you did ask). Well I was driving in Wellington recently and was stuck at the intersection of Buckle Street and Tory Street. The bloody lights took ages to change so I snuck back in time for a quick look to see when these lights were first installed.

And who did I see there as a special guest to witness the official turning on of the new lights?

The Boss - TC.

What a guy.

COOL!

Hey Boss.

I've just been back a couple of decades having a Winter holiday. It's been too bloody hot around here (and there) recently so I went to Mount Ruapehu and who did I see?

Who?

Oh, I forget, you're stuck in 'now' time (I hope that wasn't a result of reading that book that Richard was touting a couple of years ago - was he getting a commission or what?)

This guy:

Pretty impressive I must say.

All the ski-bunnies were lusting after you....








....Not (as Richard would say)


Anyway, I noticed that Lynn was with you that day and I distinctly heard her calling out "My Hero!" as you negotiated those moguls.